Aunt Enne (Julienne Rucker)

We (the Dorman/Rucker families and Texoma country)  lost a treasure when Aunt Enne passed away last Friday (May 1^st). It is a big, big loss to us all. Very few are as kind, effervescent, involved in the community and out and out good people as she was. I see the picture for her obituary and I am immediately reminded of the too few times we traveled to visit the family in Texoma land to enjoy the one and only Enne.

She was the youngest of my dad’s three sisters. (Dad was the youngest of the 7).  When we visited grandparents in Denison, TX, we would see Fred and Enne at their house on Lake Texoma. The picture of Enne reminds me so much of grandma Dorman, those eyes, that chin and  nose – so much Grandma in there. Both were so warm and welcoming, so cheerful about life, or at least that’s my memories. Enne would tell us stories about her kids, then listen to ours with rapt attention and laugh and make us laugh at all the funny events. She was not a comedian, but everything that was funny was even funnier with her.

Her obituary lets us know how she was known and how active she was in the community: “Meme” was known as a fun and loving friend, mother, grandmother and great-grandmother. She could also be very protective. For example, she was President of Peabody Elementary PTA, the McDaniel Jr. High and then Denison Senior High and when her children went to all three schools, she became President of the City Council PTA. “Shorty”, was small in stature but big in spirit.

Her husband, Fred, was another thing. When I was young, he was a GIANT. All adults are big when you’re 8 years old. But then, there was uncle Fred. He was so tall, his grinning face was massive, and those hands which could envelop a basketball … well, I was always afraid my hands would get lost in his grip and never return. I was usually a little nervous about him. In his playfulness, I might end up hanging from a basketball goal somewhere.

I’m lamenting things this week. I lament her loss. But in that loss, I know she was 86, lived a great life, served God, her family and her community well. She modeled character to us all in so many ways. The eighty-six years she lived was a good, full life, I think.

I’m also lamenting the American culture that we value and yet sets us up to be far from our relatives, growing up without tribal ties. I know, I know, they aren’t all good, but when you have almost none, you wonder what you missed. My mom and dad relocated to the lovely west Texas town of Wink in 1949 (don’t get me started) and that 500 mile journey back to Denison became longer and less frequent. After Dad became ill and Grandma passed away (1974 – 1976) the trips never happened. It’s all a part of our society, I know, but I don’t know how much I missed not being a little part of Shirley Sue, Jim, Mary Evelyn, Judy, … all the others and their families. I have cousins and their kids and grandkids all over the US and don’t have a clue who they are, what they do, what kind of people they are.  I find out one of my cousin’s sons has been at UT and is now finishing his master’s degree in San Marcos.  I have family right here in my town and I didn’t know.  It’s probably not a big loss to him, but I’m felling a little sheepish at the moment.   I regret not being more a part of the family. My wife and son think the Dorman Clan started in Wink, Texas.  She’s only met a few others and wonders if the rest are embarrassed to know us  :).

So, I regret that I don’t know much about all of you. I’m really sorry I haven’t met most of you and been around you some in your lives.  I do know that I hope you are a lot like Aunt Enne.